How do you know when The Casherman has a moment of clarity?

Copy of a message to Ashley Marie (my border patrol).

Ashley! I just had my first True mad max moment. It's three thirty in the morning and I was digging into the depths of my purse for I can't remember what and I found my travel-bottle of aerosol hairspray. I'm fucked-up but I still know it's hairspray only I have a verrrrrry overwhelming urge to spray it in my mouth like it was breath spray. I'm still resisting the urge. In fact, if I had a black and mild within my reach Right Now I would deffinately eat it.